No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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