Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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