No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
