i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
