I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
