paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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