But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
