Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
