hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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