Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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