sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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