What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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