Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I want her autograph on my taint
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
