True but thats because hes a fetus.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
