I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
