You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
