His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This house was built for laser tag.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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