she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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