That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dick very happy bro
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
