I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
