I think I died a long time ago.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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