HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
