My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
