The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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