it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
