Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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