I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
