...so i touched it.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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