Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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