I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
