Will you blow on my dice?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
