just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
