Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
