I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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