The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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