Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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