He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
