So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
