And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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