i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
