At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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