rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
