he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
