We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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