Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
