there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
