In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Couch. On fire.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
