Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
