Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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