i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
